Bag Lady

Hey, "brow"nistas!

OH man, there are some exciting things coming down the pike and I can NOT wait to share! If you are reading this post, PLEASE subscribe to the blog and get a special message from me! I thank ALL of you for support and this year will be a SWEET year for us as I expand on this "brow"nista movement.

So happy I am inspired to write! I so enjoy this time!

So, I was sitting here thinking. Last year, I was in Florida with my mentor. We were on a ministry trip, and she and I were headed out to the mall. As we were sitting in the lobby of our hotel waiting for our uBer ride, she glanced down at my purse and said, "honestly, Eb, you have TOO much stuff in your purse! Get rid of some of that stuff, it's TOO heavy to be carrying around!" So, because she is one of the smartest people I know, I jetted upstairs and dumped some of my items out and quickly returned downstairs so we could be off on our great adventure.

Now, a little bit of background about my purse.

I hate to be unprepared. I mean I hate it! I loathe it! I detest, despise, dislike, and any other "d" word you can think of that would accurately capture my utter disdain for being unprepared. Seriously, after ya'll do my "I hate mornings" intervention that we talked about in my earlier posts, ya'll might want to set up a prayer meeting for my "I hate being unprepared" disposition. My spouse can tell you. My whole mood changes when I am unprepared, blindsided, caught off guard, or think something is handled only to find out it is not. I am not pleasant AT ALL!

You see, I am the type of person who likes to be proactive. I developed this thinking from my dad. My ENTIRE life my dad was always requiring that I focus on what was coming next. For example, when I was in elementary school, he told me to focus on middle school, and when I was in middle school, he told me to focus on high school. You get the pattern. As a result, I am always thinking ahead preparing for what is coming next while anticipating what could potentially happen. Sounds good, right? Well, at times, lovelies, it is far from it.

While this "skill" has made me a great wife, mom, professional and so on, it has also negatively impacted me as well. Because of my proactive nature, there are plenty of times when I can not enjoy the moment (because I am not in it as I have moved on). Then I will drive the people around me crazy with my obsessive compulsive need to know the details and having to know what is next. Then there is the completely unexpected side effect of me becoming a slight hoarder and manager of neat piles of "expired" clutter (you call it "old mail" and stuff eligible for being discarded during spring cleaning). Since, I hate being unprepared, I do not like to reach for something I need and not have it because I just threw it away in an effort to listen to ya'll who said I needed to purge! It's like in my mind, someone is going to call and ask for that paper from 1996 after I just shredded the file!

Why won't ya'll let me be great?!

Anywho, so, my purse.

To me, my purse is a reflection of my thinking. Organized and full of "just in cases." I have medicine, cosmetics, fingernail files and clippers, hair scrunchies, toothbrushes and floss, pens, phone charges and more ALL in my purse. My cosmetics alone take up about 75% of the real estate! Listen, I have my lip color, YOUR lip color, brushes, foundation, powder, mascara and then some! It's so bad that all of my friends know that if we are out somewhere and they need a touch up, they can come to me and I have it covered! Just TERRIBLE! However, before you come for me, please note that I have saved a many a day with the items in my purse. Take that back with you before you leave, boom cat skeeta!

So, everyday I haul around this miniature luggage bag wherever I go. I have tried to consolidate, condense, and...(I am all out of "c" get my point). I find sometimes that I just can NOT! I am out of "cans" when it comes to lightening the load of my purse.

Then, God was like "let me show you something..."

Holy Spirit read me, dahling! He was like "your purse is not a reflection of your highly prepared and organized mindset. Your purse is reflecting your lack of preparation, ownership of responsibilities not belonging solely to you, and your unwillingness to let go!"

I had to have a moment of silence for my ego.

Listen, the lies I was telling myself! Truth be told, I carry around a bunch of makeup because I refuse to, night after night, get myself prepared for the next morning. So, that leaves me to drag in everything I need in order to get myself together in the ladies room once I arrive at work! Nope. Nope. That's not how that is supposed to go down.

Remember my mentor I was telling you about? Well, she is no ordinary woman. In fact, my schedule looks like child's play in comparison to hers. She manages to hit the floor FLAWLESS every day while I can't seem to manage to get myself and my toddler together and put on my eyebrows before I leave the house. I mean we are talking about getting up 30 minutes earlier or going to bed 30 minutes earlier so we can get up in time!

"Brow"nistas, I have may have saved the day a few times, but I have also backed myself into some pretty uncomfortable corners trying to always be "prepared." I had to ask myself some pretty serious questions if for no other reason than to satisfy the "Why is this bag so doggone heavy & 'Dis Tew Much' Workers Union: Local YOU TRIED IT," that filed a complaint on behalf of my forearms and shoulders!

Did I really need more than one pen in my purse? Apparently I did because I had four. I could not tell you the last time I used any of them, but you know, I kept telling myself "just in case."

Why so many lip colors? I mean it's cool, or whatever, for my friends to come to me with their cosmetic needs, but how often does that happen? What I need to do is pick one (or's a process #judgeyourmother) and stick with it for the day that I am in.

That's all.

That's it.

When I carry around all that stuff, what I am really doing to myself is allowing the day to start without me. I let the day dictate to me, and I put in my purse what I need so I can respond adequately. That's not preparation. That's trained subordination to dictatorship. Preparation is not found in a purse. Preparation is a mindset. What I have done in my purse is created a space where I don't have to own and commit to some healthier decisions.

Preparation is leaving the house ready. Why? Because when you are prepared, you only have to carry what you need because you command the day, not the other way around. You leave the house dressed and polished because you expect opportunity. You don't have to rush off to the bathroom because opportunity almost caught you in the hallway with no eyebrows. You take your vitamins before you leave the house, and maybe take one small pouch of meds (but not the whole pharmacy for every Tom, Dick, Harry and Elaine who knows you are packing the good stuff. I feel that way about gum too. GET YOUR OWN!)

You carry ONE pen, the cash and credit card you need for that one day, and you hit the ground running. You stop dragging yourself down with this unbearable weight, and you stop being the answer for everyone around you who, by now, you have trained to not be prepared because they know you have a back up. If you ever want to know how to get out of "resentment"ville, you will learn how to drop off some of the "just in cases" in your life. I have learned from experience, in the absence of me fixing it in the name of being prepared, other people have figured it out. They get good at it too.

Lastly, there is some stuff you just need to let go. There are things you are trying to control and you just can't! There are some "just in cases" that haven't happened and, let's face it, won't happen. And, if we face our fears, there are times when not being "prepared" allows us to experience something new. When is the last time you ditched that purse size umbrella, got caught in the rain and didn't mind? (shoutout to all of my "no-lye" sistagirls who are saying "we hear you, but the struggle is real!" Ok, we grant you ONE pass to tote around that umbrella the entire month of April which is not to be confused with your ONE pass for the summer months where you are allowed one edge control small container and miniature scarf for the ministry of laying down those edges!) The point is sometimes we drive ourselves crazy trying to be on the offense for something that may be better handled on the defensive side.

So, that's my insight after realizing that my eyebrows are far too important to carry around in my purse with a lot of other stuff that is just slowing me down. So, I am going to go home, do some much needed dumping, lighten my load, and take on my days from here on out both on purpose and with purpose.

Think I will trade out my "hobos" for some cute "clutches." So, "brow"nistas, I leave you with this:

If anything is overflowing in your life, let it not be the contents of your purse, but may your days be overrun with joy and your life with love, abundance, prosperity and perfection.

Oh, and may your eyebrow arches always be flawless.

Til next time...

Eboni Blair 
Wife, Mom, Artist, Speaker/Servant, Blogger, Author & more! 

Eboni Blair offers a refreshing take on the everyday woman and the permission to not lose yourself while being everything to everyone!



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 Eyebrows and all

...because if you are going to do life, you might as well put on your eyebrows...